It's late and I'm tired....

Ah, nothing like hanging out at the hospital waiting for a patient's SECOND four hour plasma exchange for the day about to end. I stay because I've been charged with the duty by my commanding officer. Should something terrible happen, I doubt I'd be able to help much anyway. For starters, I'm a pathologist and have a better chance at beating Kasparov at a game of chess than properly running a code. Anyway, its not like I wait by the bedside ready to jump to attention at the slightest sign of trouble. Instead, I hide behind my keyboard complaining about the situation. Regardless, I refuse to abandon my post!

Its kinda sad, but yesterday the thought passed through my head that if this patient died, I could have the weekend to myself. Of course, I really didn't want the patient to die... In fact, there are many instances where I don't want the patient to die. Take autopsies for example--everytime I wish the cadaver would walk off the table and out of my life sparing me hours of dissection and paperwork. Often I'll fantasize about balling my hand into a fist and powerfully slamming it into the deceased's chest reviving them in a sort of barbaric CPR type of way. But, I restrain myself not so much because of the fear of failure (who am I going to hurt anyway?) but the fear of how my coworkers might react.

You see, I'm the wierd one around here. They call me "the young Doctor Donner".

Dr. Donner. Dr. "Thunder" if you will. He's a crazed, old Czech pathologist apt to suddenly disrupt a quiet signout session looking at slides by loudly singing from deep within his barrel chest questionable Soviet songs that conjure images of the once powerful Red army. One moment he may expound on the merits of molecular techniques for studying sarcomas only to break his chain of thoughts to loudly proclaim "dueling is a wonderous, mysteeerious thing!" His eyes, wide and bright with the excitement of two grown men battling over a maiden or traded insults.

That's Dr. Donner. I've done him little justice in this post, but my first entry has served its purpose as I've introduced the man. Now that Dr. Donner has entered stage, I shall leave and make sure no one has died. I hate autopsies.